Greetings, everyone! It's been a minute since my last blog, but as you all know, when the weather improves, I like to play outside, so fewer blogs. Today, however, it's hot as balls out (feels like 100+ degrees), so I'm stuck inside and enjoying my AC while I write this.
Time with the gals
If you remember from my last post, my current perimenopausal state has left me less motivated and tolerant of the inherent shenanigans of online dating, so I have increasingly enjoyed the company of my girlfriends. Most are either single or finally empty-nested and ready for fun travel. I love my work team, but my company and industry are very male-dominated, so the last place I thought I would do girl-bonding was work.
For the past several years at work, I have organized and managed panels on various topics at our big annual user event, which brings 5,000 attendees. The topics discussed on these panels have been varied; one year, we tackled Workforce of the Future, last year the panel discussed DEI (just in time for its untimely and unnecessary death), and this year we did something different and made it all about the ladies. About time. Am I right??
The topic was Women in Tech, so my panelists for the first time were all women. Over the years, I have sweated these panels. You never really know how anyone will react to questions, and when given the floor, who knows what someone will say. You never know when someone will freeze or another won't stop talking or interrupting. It's a delicate balance. Fun, but stressful.
The fact that they typically take place on a stage in front of a crowd only adds to the stress. I wrote Making Peace with the Patriarchy about my experiences last year, as it was enlightening in a completely different way.
This year, the experience was completely different. I never once worried about my panelists or about what anyone would say. I found my panelists and showed up for the panel. I knew that a panel of women would need no prompting. I knew the conversation would flow freely. I knew they wouldn't cut each other off, unless done by accident, after which profuse apologies would be offered. What I didn't expect was the reaction from attendees.
The women who attended the session with the panel were engaged, invested, and generous. They were there to fully support each other; no competition. It was truly a safe space where they could be honest about working in a field in which they represent 8.5%, one of the lowest percentages in engineering, second only to Electrical Engineering.
Their stories were eye-opening and sometimes sad. One young female engineer stood up and told the group that she was being sexually harassed at work by a fellow engineer, and despite seeking help through appropriate channels at work, was still working in that situation. Several of our panel members suggested ways in which she could address the problem.
One attendee, who I later found out was a college engineering professor, suggested the young woman learn jiu jitsu. Sadly, she had experienced some scary situations with aggressive male college students. I spoke to her about it later. She said now she doesn't feel intimidated by them, because she can "drop them like a bag of cement," if anyone makes her feel uncomfortable. Ok, she might not have worded it that way exactly, but hey, this is my blog. 😉
Throughout the Q&A at the end of the session, many issues and challenges were discussed. That same professor recommended jiu jitsu to resolve a few of those, too. It was hilarious, but sad that a professor has to deal with aggressive men in the classroom. I think it says a lot about where we currently are in the world. While I don't suggest violence as a solution to anything, being able to protect ourselves in any setting is never a bad idea.
I could tell how much it meant for this group, which consisted of students, professional engineers, designers, teachers, and engineering professors, etc., to be together. To share stories and ask for advice. I can't tell you how many of them thanked me and said how much it meant to them that we brought them all together.
As I predicted, the conversation flowed freely, great connections were made, and the time flew by. It was clear, this opportunity to be together, this bastion of sisterhood, was much-needed.
Dancing the night...or early evening away
Another new favorite thing I've recently discovered is the Early Bird Club parties. Ladies, if you have not heard about these, it's time to learn more. They are all-girl dance parties "for ladies who have shit to do in the morning" and who doesn't??? They start at 6 pm and then end at 10 pm, when decent people head to bed. Think Blue Plate Special version of a rave, but with loads of happy, dancing women and a few who identify as such.
I was initially thrown off by the all-girls thing. It seemed like for years, when my kids were little and I most needed an occasional wild night out, most of the ladies-only activities involved buying over-priced candles, jewelry, or plastic storage containers.
So I wasn't entirely sure I loved that concept, but that was before I attended one. Now, I'm sold. I can hardly express how much fun it is dancing with abandon and singing every lyric alongside a thousand or so other women. It's a room full of happy women smiling all night, enjoying being together.
They started a year ago in Chicago and are now in 10 or so cities, so do yourself a favor and check them out if you live in one of the cities. The events sell out nearly immediately, so buy the limit (4 tickets) and invite some friends. My sister and I have done the last two parties, and it's taken us days to recover physically, but what a blast! And, at least we got a full night of sleep!
"Land the plane, Barb."
Right! I'm all over the place. What is the theme?
I don't want to get overly political here, I waste too much energy daily being angry about that. But, there have been a lot of changes and proposed changes that are concerning to me as a woman in the U.S., and should be to all of us.
The vibe is not good, and we've come a long fucking way to be going any other way than forward. If you are a woman working in a largely male industry, some of these changes are going to impact you. The death of DEI support and the emergence of this "toxic masculinity" trend will undoubtedly be felt by many.
Women rock. The world is going crazy, and things are getting out of balance. Women must continue to fight and push back and maybe karate chop, if necessary, our way out of this. 😜 Part of winning this battle will be aligning with each other.
The reality is that my daughter has fewer rights today than when she was born. That is not right. I don't think you have to be a feminist to recognize that.
We need each other more today than ever. Women need to champion each other; lift each other up whenever they can. Mentor when you can. It's the right thing to do, and it feels good to do it.
Blog hits 40K visitors!
Most likely, by the time I publish this gem, I will have hit over 40,000 visitors to The World According to Barb! Shocking, and "Barb" has gone global, my friends! I have readers in over 19 countries. Below is a snapshot of my blog analytics over the past month, and as you can see, the fastest growing audience sectors are Brazil and Vietnam, places I've neither been nor know anyone there.
Regardless of the mystery around how all these global citizens are finding it; thank you all! I truly appreciate you all, and it certainly keeps me going and motivated to share more so, please, keep reading and sharing!
Rock on, my friends. Be good, everyone, enjoy the summer, and thanks for reading.
Barb
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