Showing posts with label birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthdays. Show all posts

Thursday, November 2, 2023

Kicking Off the Bucket List and I Still Got It!

So we all have a bucket list, and I recently checked one off my list: seeing the Cinque Terre region of Italy. It's been on my list for the past 20 years after seeing pictures from the area in a Rick Steeves book. My goal was to see if before I was 50, but then life got in my way, as it often does. I spent my 40th birthday celebrating in Italy and intended to spend my 50th there doing the same. 


Who knew that next decade would bring some many changes to my life? Certainly not me, but instead of sipping wine in Italy and toasting to my half-century status, I found myself newly single, empty-nested, embarking on a new career, and packing up my possessions for a move to Chicago. Whatever extra money I might have had to spend on a vacation was put into a down payment on my new condo, which I will own in 30 short years. 

Let me start by saying that I had no idea that the origin of "bucket lists" was the concept that they include all the things you should do before you "kick the bucket." Obviously my stupidity coming into play here, but I never have thought of bucket list items as something to do before I die. This whole concept, however, makes me want to hurry up and assemble a more complete list. If anyone has ideas, please share! Time is marching forward and retirement is only seven years away, not that I'm counting.

Our initial plan was to take this trip in May 2020. I guess you all know what happened that year. The following year we couldn't go for various reasons; the same thing happened last year. This year, however, it finally happened and my daughter Laura and I spent 10 amazing days exploring Italy.  Actually 11 days if you count the 6-city, 4-airline, 48-hour odyssey trying to get home from Italy, thanks to a nationwide travel strike and shit weather the day we were scheduled to leave. 

It was an incredible and memorable trip. Cinque Terre was absolutely stunning and lived up to my two decades of expectations, and the area is certainly worthy of anyone's bucket list. I love active vacations and that area was perfect for that as you can hike from one village to another.  One day alone, we logged 99 flights of stairs! Exhausting but certainly worth the effort for the views from one village to another. 

We started in Milan, spent four days in Cinque Terre in two different villages and finished out trip in Florence, my favorite Italian city. We changed Airbnbs every two nights so it we were always packing and on the move, but we did well and packed light.

Overall we got along quite well, as we usually do. I also learned a lot about myself. Apparently sometimes I breathe very loudly, drag my feet when walking, burb entirely too much and snore. Also, I need to start dying my gray hairs, because it's no longer "working for me." All revelations my millenial daughter shared with me during our travels. I made a mental note to look into hair dying options and recommended ear plugs and the white noise app on her phone. 

I suffer terribly from Direction Deficit Disorder (DDD) so going anywhere can, often inadvertantly, become an adventure. Sadly my daughter seems to have inherited that gene so it turns out she is also directionally challenged but is quite the master at Google maps, so thanks to GPS technology and the kindness of many strangers, we stayed the course...at least most of the time. 

Wine country awaits

We spent one day doing a wine tasting tour out in the Chianti region of Tuscany, which is also a very pretty part of Italy. We visited a few vineyards, learning about the difference between Chianti and Chianti Classico. As a huge red wine lover, I enjoyed tasting and hearing about how the grapes are cultivated and how the different soil makes such a huge difference. 

At the second vineyard, we were in a courtyard listening to the sommelier explain more about their wines. After he was done, Laura asked why he was staring at me the whole time. I had actually noticed that among the 20 or so participants, that he did seem to be focusing on me. I assumed it was because I was being attentive and genuinely interested in the topic: wine.



Next we went into the actual wine cellar and he continued his talk about how the wines are stored, etc. After taking some ribbing from a few of the others on the tour, I did take note this time that he had his eyes quite literally locked into mine. It was so obvious, in fact, that I had to look away a few times to stifle a giggle.

Well after that, the teasing escalated. It was becoming quite obvious that the sommelier, Gianni, might be a tad smitten with me. At one point, one of the guys on our tour missed out on one of the samples, a Super Tuscan that was quite good. He desperately tried to get the attention of Gianni to get his sample, but was being largely ignored. A few of them recommended that I ask on his behalf. I swear I barely whispered his  name and he immediately came over. 

After the tour, Laura told him I was single and encouraged me to give him my cell number, which after 8 glasses of wine seemed like a splendid idea.  That night he started calling, trying to find me out in Florence, leaving multiple voicemails (that will never be deleted). They all started the same: "Hey Baby," a phrase that has been on repeat by my daughter ever since." For days, I received calls and messages and eventually we connected on Whatsap. 

I am not going to lie; it's flattering. I encounter this phenomenon on the dating apps all the time. I blame Stifler's mom (American Pie reference). Most men on dating apps lie about their age, but it's typically to make them appear younger. Conversely, however, many younger guys lie and say they are 10 or more years older. Bottom line: younger guys dig me. I'm sure many of you remember I have a little experience in this area as I explained in this blog, Don't Call me a Cougar. 

Back to Gianni. Rather tragically I finally had to ask the question of how old he actually was. Unfortunately, Gianni, turns out to be significantly younger than he looks. I'll blame early onset male pattern balding for this, but turns out my young suitor is the same age as my kids, so it went from flattering to yucky pretty quickly. 

Despite this rather tragic reality, Gianni remained adamant and I must say this response definitely made me laugh. 


So unfortunatey, this is where our story ends here. But the bottom line, and one might say silver lining to this particular story: I still got it!!!  I'm not going to lie, turning 58 and being hit on by a man 30 years younger, isn't the worst thing to happen either. Did I mention how wonderful the wine was?

Ok, well I better close. Weather is predictably getting colder so the good news is this means more blogs from Barb! Talk about a silver lining, am I right?

I hope this all finds you well and ready to gear up for the final sprint to the end of the year. 

Until next time, my friends.

Barb



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Monday, October 18, 2021

Best Things about Being My Age

Dear Lord, another birthday. Hard to believe I used to actually look forward to these annual events. When I was younger, I could hardly wait to be one year older. When I was 16, I desperately wanted to be 18. And, when I reached 18, I was equally eager to be 21. What a cruel twist of fate all these years later and I approach the anniversary of my birth with reduced enthusiasm. Being keen on always seeing the silver lining, however, surely there are a few advantages of being of a certain age. 

Now did you actually think I was going to write a blog about the good things about aging? Sorry for the "bait and switch," but what could possibly be good about getting old?? There's a reason the words "old and cranky" are often used in conjunction. But I was able to come up with a few. If anyone has any more to add, feel free to leave them in the comments. 

1. Calling everyone "doll." I'm not exactly when this started but at some point I reached an over-the-hill age when it just seemed right to starting calling everyone--complete strangers, cashiers, waiters and even work colleagues--doll or honey. No idea why or when I suddenly felt this privilege was bestowed upon me, but I won't lie; I do like it. Makes me feel a bit like a sage powerful Yoda of sorts. And, best part is people seem powerless to argue it. No one is insulted and right from the start, I've established that we are not equals. I've seen a lot of shit, just by living this many years so obviously I'm very wise, and possibly just a little nutty too. I've used all of these presumptions to my advantage plenty of times. 

2. Discounts at movies.  I have not yet made use of these but I will! That is, if I can push my vanity aside for a moment to admit that I'm this age. I get an AARP card in the mail monthly. I throw them away immediately, as if that will somehow disqualify me from the continuation of the aging process. 

3. Being shameless. Yep, that's right. I have reached the point age-wise where almost nothing embarrasses me. This newly acquired super power makes it possible for me to go damn near anywhere sans makeup, sometimes wearing the same shirt I slept in (tastefully under something else, like a sweatshirt, of course). Not only is this a real time-saver, but also has drastically cut my wardrobe and makeup budget. 

4. 9 years until retirement. Enough said. 

Taking a pause

A few weeks ago I had my belated annual physical. My doctor asked if I was having any issues. I actually feel pretty damn good for an old broad, but I did mention that sometimes during my second cup of coffee, I all the sudden get really hot. Super odd, doesn't last long but boy when it hits, I'm tearing off like my clothes like George Clooney is sitting on a bed and patting the empty place next to him. 

She kind of smiled and mentions that it's most likely the onset of menopause or I guess in this case, perimenopause. I just stared at her for a minute and then very calmly explained, or this case "doc-splained" to her, that it couldn't possibly be that. It obviously has something to do with the caffeine. I mean I'm not that old! I still have a IUD!! 


I've spent the better part of my adult years terrified of my own fertility. Both kids were conceived  instantaneously.  Freakish fertility runs in the family. My sister and my aunt both easily conceived kids in their 40s. My aunt is five years older, a mid-40s surprise baby!  I guess you gotta be good at something. 

Dating "Six-pack Will" for several years did little to alleviate this concern as I was fairly certain his sperm was probably in top shape and most likely very fast and agile. Having a baby in my late 40s was enough to keep me up at night and double-downed on birth control. So now the fertility chapter of my life is closed forever? 

So first up, I'm not calling it menopause. Just like the word menstruation should not have the word "men" in it, neither should menopause. Both annoying consequences of being female that hardly impacts men at all, other than dealing with the cranky, sweaty women in their lives. So henceforth, I'm just "pausing" or "taking a pause." 


What other fun things are on tap, I asked my doctor. Oh boy, brittle bones, hot flashes, weight gain, brain fog, dry vag, fatigue and night sweats...I can hardly wait. What a party! Sign me up! Brain fog? This will come as disappointing news to my coworkers and loved ones, who already suffer from my not-so-great memory. It's getting worse? Groovy. Wow, we really did get the short end of the stick, girls. 

Now I assure you that I'm not taking this news lying down, not going down without a fight. I can't do much about the "pausing" that I guess is coming, but no way in hell I'm getting old. 

I mean mentally I'm still 30. Despite my chronological age, I still feel like a rebel. A rule breaker. A troublemaker. A law breaker. I speed and curse, often at the same time. I can spend hours laughing at videos of people falling on Tik Tok (because my sense of humor stopped developing at 18). I have no filter, like a toddler or senile elder. 

I still love concerts as I have my whole life. I went to Lollapalooza, for God's sake! Didn't see a whole lot of AARP members there. I like to party (within limits), love my wine, and am a big fan of marijuana (once considered counter-culture, now hardly edgy since it's legal). But surely I'm way cooler than the typical perimenopausal old lady.


Was I supposed to mature and outgrow these things? Age out of that world? What's weird is I just don't feel how what I assumed someone 56-years-old would feel. And, I'm not planning on changing anytime soon. I certainly have a tough act to follow when it comes to physical aging. 

Some of you know Barb Senior, my mom, who has been defying the aging process for decades. She can still beat me in tennis, won nearly every golf tournament she played in this summer (including her club championship), has had 7 hole-in-ones, does pilates 3 times a week, and can probably beat up your mom. She's a legend, and I will be trying to follow in her footsteps every step of the way! 

A rebel with a pause

So to wrap things up: go fuck yourself, aging process. I'm not going quietly into this next chapter. I'm going to continue to be a slightly mischievous, rebellious girl who loves live music and occasionally getting high. Because I'm a rebel. That's why. 

To be honest I'm happier and in better shape than I was 10 or even 20 years ago. So bring it. I'm sure it won't be sunshine and rainbows daily, but I plan to enjoy this next chapter, despite having to take a pause once in a while. And, rest assured, you all will have a front row seat as I continue into my decent into menopausal madness so don't worry. 

Hope this blog finds you all well. Hoping to keep up a better cadence now that outdoor activities are probably coming to an end soon. Enjoy the fall, everyone. It will be 2022 before we know it!

We'll talk again soon.

Barb

Barb

Missed any blogs? You can catch up with the past blogs with links below:

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