Saturday, October 26, 2024

Evolving into a Hipper Barb After Closet Cleanout

It's been mentioned several times recently that it's been a minute since my last blog post. It's true and I have little excuse for that other than the fact that it's been an incredibly beautiful summer here in Chicago. 

While fires were burning and temps sweltering in other parts of the country, Chicago was blessed with an incredible summer. I'm sure we will pay the price in January, but summer is our time to shine and I contend no city matches Chicago in summer.



"But it's October, Barb."

Yes, I am aware but the weather is still great so I am taking advantage of it until I can't. In addition, as I have said it before: blogging is something I do for enjoyment so if there is fun to be had elsewhere outside, it's probably not happening. I also have the maturity level of a 20 something so making myself do anything I don't want to do is...well problematic. 

But I'm back! 

New Season, New Style

When I moved to Chicago, I was so overwhelmed with the logistics of it all that I never took the time to properly go through my clothes so everything was boxed up and brought.  Sure, it would have been an ideal time to shed some never-worn items, but see above 👆about making myself do things that are not fun...It could wait.

So, nine years later, I decided it was time to do something about it. I decided to hire a stylist to come and assist me in going through my closet and purging any items that are outdated, worn or no longer fit.  I needed someone, besides my daughter, to shoot it straight and provide a much-needed reality check on my wardrobe.


Above is the outfit I picked out to wear to my 40th class reunion.

I researched a few, found one who was pretty close, relatively affordable, so I reached out via email. 

I have described my wardrobe as "schlubby chic" and I think that still holds true. I haven't worked in an office since the late 90s so my professional attire is sadly lacking. My typical work outfit is sweats and a hoodie, but as a grown-up, I was realizing that I possibly needed a style update.

I wear a lot of casual leisurewear and I own more hoodies than most teenaged boys. Pulling my sweats out in the fall is one of my favorite seasonal rituals. So comfortable, warm, inviting and never judgemental about weight loss. They are the All Stars of my wardrobe, if I'm being honest. 

At dinner that night, I told Laura about the plan. She is typically my in-house fashion consultant so she is more aware that I needed help. She has been telling me for years that I needed to pare down.

A week later, I finally got back to the stylist, Lora, to schedule a day for her to come and dive in. As she was looking at her calendar, she said, "Do you have a daughter named Laura?" I told her I did, but was super confused as to why she was asking.

Yep, you guessed it. Laura indeed thought it was an excellent idea, such a good one, in fact, that she decided to do the same and independently found the same stylist! Small world.

Initially I was annoyed; she totally had snuck in and stole my thunder. Then as the days went on, Laura started dropping little hints like "Lora (the stylist) doesn't like flannels.." What??? An internal panic set in.

I also saw the 12 bags of clothes that the stylist had already ousted from Laura's closet so knew this woman was going to mean business.

Hmmm, so Lora doesn't like flannels, what else might she dislike? I'm guessing she probably is also not a fan of concert tees, the second most common and beloved clothing items in my closet. Considering I want to be buried with those, I had to make sure she was never going to get her hands on those! 

Must hide all concert tees. Check. ✅

Then I started thinking of my favorite hoodies. My favorite is from Purgatory Mountain, the ski area we grew up skiing in Colorado. It's faded, logo is barely visible, and it's decades-old. It's pretty awful looking and also my absolute fav. I knew enough of this stylist to realize it was not safe. 

Favorite hoodies also safely hidden. Check. ✅

The mental wheels came off the bus with this shocker: Laura casually mentioned one day that the stylist told her that scarves were out of fashion, I literally gasped. What? How do mature women hide our sagging "turkey" necks without proper scarfing? 

I recently had the great fortune of spending time with my girlfriends at my 40th high school reunion in St. Louis. I shared this rather disturbing fashion news about scarves with them during a lunch date, and they all collectively gasped with their hands instinctively covering their necks. WHAT???? 

So, you can see where this is going...Scarves now also safely stowed away. ✅ 

Did I question the logic of hiding my clothes from the woman I was paying to advise me on fashion? Sure, I did. But, my love of these items exceeded any logic on the matter.

Then Laura would say things like, "she's probably going to hurt your feelings."

So, now with full-blown anxiety and clothes safely stashed throughout my house, the stylist arrived. I put on my nicest sweatpants and hoodie, which she deemed acceptable, calling it "casual, but elevated casual." 

I heard that a lot. She was kind though and let me keep a few things, most of which she described this way: "I don't hate this." Cool. That meant, it could stay.

I can work with that. 

Lora immediately tackled my closet, then after a couple of hours, she came in and asked where my dresses were. I froze. Oh no, I had not vetted that closet! It was too late though. That was where she discovered my secondary stash of shoes too.

I'm sure you all want to know what I learned as a result of this rather humbling experience. Well, for one, I learned that I am apparently I am a shoe hoarder. I had no idea. I guess the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem. 

There were signs. 

I have a lovely Guatemalan housekeeper who barely speaks English although she has saved nearly every houseplant I own. She discovered my second closet with my hidden shoe stash a few years ago and came in with two pairs in her hands, shaking her head and saying, "Dis...is no good, Bar-barrr-a." Enough said. 


What's particularly hilarious is that now that I walk everywhere, I wear the same 3-4 pairs of shoes every day. Tragically, a few of the pairs that I wear daily were at the bottom of that pile! I told her that she would have to pry my All Birds out of my cold dead hands before I would ever part with them. I think she caught my vibe. There were a few other pairs I fought for, but overall, it does feel great to have less. 

Less shoes, less clothes in general. My closet is now incredibly organized and I get dressed in a snap because I have so few options now! 


The next step is Lora comes back and will help me create outfits with what's left of my wardrobe. I will keep you all posted as I evolve into a much more sophisticated, hip Barb. 

Good grief, this got long so perhaps I will wrap this up!

I hope this blog finds you all happy and well. I hope you all enjoying the "Tripartite" (Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas) season. We all know you blink this time of year and it's the holidays so let me be the first to say Happy Holidays! 

Avoid malls and Home Goods.  Shop online. You heard it here first.

Be well and until next time,

Barb


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